Feeling Down? Been there, done that. Let's try something new.

Life is hard.  I've wished many a day that I was still a kid with only simple responsibilities.  But life is also good.  Those feelings of wanting to stay as a kid never lasts forever for me, and with good reason--wouldn't it be a shame to miss every phase of life?  Childhood, young adulthood, young married life, motherhood and fatherhood, watching grandchildren grow up, and even waiting to pass to the next life all have their own joys and sorrows.  Each can be enjoyed for what it has to offer.

But sometimes you just wish now wasn't now.  You wish it was tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year.  Life can be so unbearable that you have no idea how you are going to face the next five minutes let alone the next day.  Even so, we all have to eventually come to the conclusion that the future will continue to come whether we like it or not, and we're going to have to deal with the now.  You can't avoid now, no matter how hard you try.  You can put off things, but you'll never escape--it just doesn't work that way.

So...what to do? NOW?  How do you face the unbearable?

Different things obviously work for different people.  There are a lot of lists out there suggesting things you can do to lift your spirits, so I'm adding to the list suggestions that often work for me.  So read through the list and take what you think will work best for you and your circumstances.

1. Get a change of scenery.  Often if I am bummed out, one of the first things I'll try to look at is if I'm doing the same thing over and over--hum drum every day.  Obviously we can't escape everything--we still have to go to work, school, or similar activities nearly every day.  But even a small change of scenery can really help.  Have you wanted to go up the canyon "sometime"?  Do it now!  You don't have to make a day trip out of it, just go and breathe some fresh air.  Something about going somewhere new, or somewhere you don't usually go, is really helpful to change your perspective on life--things don't have to be the same as you've kept them in your routine.  If it isn't working for you, try something different.  If that doesn't work, try something else different.  Something is bound to click, and you'll be sure to discover new things that perk your interest that you can add to your routine once and a while to shake things up.
2. Don't isolate yourself.  This is one I have to try really hard not to do.  When you're feeling down, it's easy to want to shut the world out and just put a "go away" sign on your door.  Everyone needs alone time.  That time is absolutely necessary.  But it isn't good to be spending the majority of your time alone, especially if you're down.  It may be the very last thing you want to do is be with people, but it really does help.  You don't have to go out and suddenly become the life of the party.  Even just sitting by other people, even if you aren't saying much, is somehow helpful.  Humans are social creatures.  We're not meant to be alone.
3. Put things into perspective.  Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by all the things that have happened and will happen that I just feel like even attempting to lift that load will crush me flat.  And frankly, it probably will.  So what to do?  Get some perspective.  What's the bottom line?  From a religious perspective, this is earth life, which means this trial(s) won't last forever.  As long and as horrible as whatever you are bearing may have lasted and will last, it WILL end.  The next step, from an earthly perspective, is that all you have to deal with (as we so often say) is today.  But really, all you have to deal with is this second.  Right now.  If I have something that I have in the future that daunts me, it often helps me to make a plan like this: spend 45 minutes working on the task, whatever it may be, then tell yourself you are done for the day.  Now pat yourself on the back.  You got closer to figuring out whatever it was.  Good job!  It may not be finished, but you don't need to worry about that today.  You've done all you can do on it for today, and it's enough.  Now focus your attention on something else and keep going with your day.  This is so relieving and freeing of a practice to me because it relieves me of feeling like I have to keep worrying about the problem all the time, which is miserable.  I hope it works for you.
4. Do something you love. This won't apply to all times or all people, because sometimes you're so overwhelmed with things to do that adding anything to the list will just feel overwhelming.  But sometimes you just have to cross something off your "to do" list and say, "Today, I need to put in some time for fun."  Seriously, fun is not just a want, it's a NEED.  We need to be able to enjoy life.  If you are never doing something you love, something needs to be changed.  You may think you don't have time, but eventually you will begin to slowly crack until doing something you love is an absolute must.  Better to maintain than to repair.
5. Keep moving.  It can be beyond tempting to give up when things are hard, but giving up won't make things better.  Now, take this with a grain of salt, because I'm not saying that you shouldn't say no to things that truly need to be cut away from your life (it's one thing to throw up your hands in surrender and forget about trying, and it's another thing to carefully consider the pros and cons and tactfully (and prayerfully!) reduce or eliminate something from your life).  I am saying that you should stick with what's tough.  Pull through.  Today won't always be today, and that's a good thing!  That means things will keep changing, and even if something is terrible today, eventually things will smooth themselves out.  Life isn't static, so as long as you aren't static, your situation won't stay the same.  It will change.  Patience is the pits sometimes, but it's worth every second if the result is worth working for.
6. Get yourself cleaned up.  Something about taking a shower and doing your hair and makeup (if that applies) and dressed in something nice makes you feel more like YOU.  Skipping these steps in your day may seem like a time saver, but I know on those days I feel even more down when I don't look "presentable".  I can't really describe it in too much detail, but looking your best helps you feel better about yourself and in turn helps you feel better about life.
7. Stop waiting for your golden ticket.  This is a touchy one that can be taken the approached.  Please know that I mean no offense to anyone in any way with this one.  I will probably say as little as possible and suggest you actually go read an excellent talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf from the October 2011 General Young Women's Conference of the LDS church.  It is entitled "Forget Me Not" (click to read).  It is incredible and uplifting. I actually enjoy listening to it even more than reading it because he is such a powerful speaker.  Here is the main idea: it is good to yearn for righteous goals, but we cannot and should not put our happiness on hold because we have not received that "golden ticket" we are looking for in our lives.  The golden ticket may be a spouse, a new job, a remedy for a situation with a family member or friend.  These are all good goals we should definitely strive to work towards, but we shouldn't say something like (although it may be tempting, and has been to me on a number of occasions), "I will be happy once I find my husband."  It's not fair to yourself to wait to be happy.  Find little ways to be happy NOW, and add them up together.  It may not be like the happiness you will get from getting that goal achieved, whatever that goal is, but there is happiness out there waiting for you.  And consider this: even if your goal/dream comes to you, there will be more challenges that come with that goal being achieved.  Say, along with the marriage example, you get married.  That's wonderful!  But there will still be bills to pay, in-laws to handle, that new boss that's annoying you, the neighbor who's gossiping untrue things about you...you get the idea.  Life won't suddenly be magic because you got your goal.  I don't mean this as a downer, but to help point out that life will never be perfect, so we shouldn't wait for that "perfect" moment when we have everything we want to finally be happy.  You should most definitely look forward to your "golden ticket," because it's something wonderful to be celebrated--just don't forget about all the other opportunities of life too.  Wow, I said way more than intended.
8. Talk about it.  Talking to someone, even if they don't know you or the situation well, is really, really helpful.  Another perspective, or even just getting what your worried about off your chest for that matter, is super helpful.  Talking to more than one person is also great to get more than one different perspective.  Talking out loud can even bring self-revelations that you didn't think about when you were just quietly contemplating your struggle.  Talking is good.
9. Remember, we're here to succeed, not to fail.  Last, and most importantly, even if all the above don't work: be determined not to lose faith in God.  God did NOT send us here to fail.  Even if you don't believe it, tell it to yourself.  Repeat it, one hundred times in your head if you have to.  And maybe you still won't believe it in that moment.  If you can't believe it in that moment, keep telling it to yourself, and one of these days, you will come to believe it, either by your own faith being rekindled, and/or by seeing God's hand in our life and being reminded that He really is there for you.  He never leaves.  Ever.  And He always, always wants the best for us.  Sometimes what's best for us is not the easiest, but looking back, we will be reassured that God was indeed there and had His hand involved in every moment of every day--we may just not have been able to see it clearly in those terrible moments.

There are plenty more things to do, but I felt like I've babbled plenty enough as is.  I hope at least one of these is helpful to you out there.

Summer and Sunburns (and sunburn remedies!)

Ah, summer sun.  I love the sun.  I can't emphasize that enough.  No, I don't like being so hot in the sun I'm toasting, but a decent amount of sun just FEELS good, both physically and emotionally.  I went to Seven Peaks Water Park this morning and had a great time just lounging around on a tube in the wave pool and around the lazy river.  But silly me, like I do every summer (you'd think I'd learn)...I got sunburned.  Luckily the burn isn't bad at all, and tomorrow it will probably just look tan, but I have had times when I have burned myself pretty badly and couldn't even sleep because I was so miserable.  Sunburns can even make  your stomach feel sick.  Powerful stuff, sunburns.

Seven Peaks Water Park

So, what are some sunburn remedies?  Most are probably pretty well known, but I'll share some tips that may be the difference between being crispy lobster and turning back into a human being again.

1. Forget the lotion. Probably my most useful tip (and I feel this isn't nearly as widely known as it should be) is what NOT to do with your sunburn.  DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PUT LOTION ON YOUR SUNBURN!!  ...At least not at first.  Lotion will actually trap the heat in your skin, making the process of your body recovering longer and harder (and I don't mean Aloe Vera--that stuff is great--I'm talking about regular old moisturising lotion).  Once you start to peel (if you peel), sure, go for the lotion to help reduce that irritating itching--but in the beginning, don't put lotion on or you will be trapping in all that heat generated from the burn.  Bad idea.
2. Take ibuprofen. When you get a sunburn, your skin becomes inflamed from the burn.  Taking ibuprofen (Advil, ect.) will help reduce the inflammation as well as reduce some of the pain.  Double win! :)
3. Drink water. Your body can easily become dehydrated while you have a sunburn because of all that heat that's been generated, so be sure to drink, drink, drink (water that is)!  You'll feel better if you're fully hydrated (maybe not immediately, but you will) and your sunburn will heal faster too.
4. Get cool and wet. No, don't go back swimming.  I mean take a cool shower or bath, put wet wash cloths on the sunburned area, or even soak a shirt or towel in cool water and put it on; I've also heard oatmeal can be soothing in your bath. Not only will cool water help the pain be reduced, but it will help your burn get better faster because you'll be removing some of the harmful heat produced by the burn.  Less heat means your skin can heal faster.  The point here isn't to freeze.  The water needs to be COOL, not frigid and miserably freezing.  And if you take a shower or bath, make sure to PAT down with a towel, don't rub yourself down or it'll hurt.  That's pretty obvious, but I thought I'd mention it anyway since sometimes you go on automatic and just start rubbing down like normal after a shower.



Black tea and mint solution

5. Use aloe vera gel. Aloe vera gel is awesome stuff.  Thank goodness for that awesome leafy plant that gives us such wonderful relief!  Yeah, it does make you feel a little sticky because of the texture, but the relief is totally worth it in my boat.  You don't need to buy the fancy brand--go to Walmart and get the cheapo stuff and save yourself some cash.  Works just as well for me.
6. Black tea and mint solution. Here is a tip I haven't tried myself, but I have heard a number of people say it works really well.  I got the info from the Martha Stewart website: "An infusion of black tea and fresh mint makes a fragrant sunburn soother. The tannic acid in black tea draws heat from the burn and restores the skin's acid balance; the mint cools the skin.To make, pour four cups boiling water over two cups of fresh mint leaves and three or four tea bags. Cover, let stand 10 minutes, then strain. Let cool, and transfer to a glass jar. Apply to sunburned skin with a washcloth or cotton balls. The infusion keeps for a few weeks in the refrigerator." **And I will add a note that you'll want to use a wash cloth that you won't mind if it gets stained.  The black tea will probably stain it beyond repair.**
7. Wear loose, comfortable clothing. This isn't a cure by any means, but it helps reduce pain.  Wear a loose fitting cotton shirt or shorts to help reduce the pain of any added pressure tight clothing will add.  Cotton breathes easier too, which will help you stay and feel cooler.
8. Stay away from the sun. Obvious, but it's tempting to slather on a huge layer of sun screen and go back and enjoy the sun some more, isn't it?  Don't do it--you'll be sorry.  Give your burn a few days at least.  You'll be glad you did.

I hope at least one of these tips is helpful, and happy healing! :)

New recipes: for the stomach and the heart

I have two recipes to share today. One that involves the heart, and the other that involves the "regular" kind of recipe: one delicious one to be devoured by any hungry stomach. I'll begin with the one involving the heart.

I'm starting to think that whoever said "the only thing predictable about life is it's unpredictability" must have been a very wise person, because the older I get, I seem to be finding that more and more true in my own life. There have been a number of things that I have said "that will never happen to me". Of course not--misfortunes and surprising events happen to OTHER people, not yourself, right? Oh how I have been proved wrong.

As a kid, life was pretty predictable. I had about as close to the "perfect" family as there got. Then my parents got divorced. I never in a million years would have seen that curve ball. Our family was as close to perfect as it a family can get, so how could this happen to US? Divorces are for those "messed up" families, certainly not mine. Ah, if only life were that simple. But then again, I don't know that I really wish that it was. Perfect predictability, good or bad, can lead to a stale life of no growth. That doesn't mean that I always love the trial at the time, but I think I can almost always look back and say "I'm glad that happened," because where I end up and the person I become is could only have been accomplished through that trial. The same holds true for my parents' divorce. If someone were to ask me,"would you like your parents to get a divorce during your lifetime," of course the answer would be no; but thankfully, I would also say no to the following question: "if you could change what happened and have those events not happen, would you?" I'm not glad that my family had all the difficulties they did, but this trial has had many positive outcomes that couldn't have happened any other way. The situation wasn't ideal, but we were able to make it as good as possible by making the best out of it.



During a hard time, I often say to myself, "Well, Angela, you're going to have to go through this even one way or another--so it's your choice to either make the best of it, learn what you can, and behave gracefully in a manner you'll be proud of looking back, or make the worst of it and let it be as miserable as possible." If you have to go through the event, why not try and make the best of it? Easier said than done. Very much so. I'm not saying by any means either that you shouldn't ever feel sad or frustrated. In fact, I believe those are very healthy emotions that you need to allow yourself to feel or else you won't be able to process the event completely and it will end up coming back to trouble you later. But there are many ways (which will vary widely from event to event) that the situation can either be made significantly worse or better depending on your response. Then comes the time to pick the higher road. You'll never be sorry you did.



And now I've found myself in the past couple months with a heap of experiences I would never have guessed would have been me (or even if I did expect them, I didn't think they'd be nearly as difficult as they have been). Between my parents going on a mission, losing friends through various means, getting a new apartment (I've lived in SingleTree for the past 4 years and it's the only apartment I've ever lived in, so this is big, folks), getting a new job, and even breaking up with my fiance (although this was my decision, I never saw myself getting so far involved with a boyfriend that I would get engaged and then break it off; breaking up after dating, sure that happens a lot, but I didn't see breaking off an engagement)--well, let's just say lots of things are changing. Change is hard for everyone, but it tends to be harder for me than most people.



So, time to "cowboy up," Angela. It's a lot to swallow. And I've been mad at God for taking so much away from me in such a short and seemingly brutal matter. But then I have to remind myself: God does EVERYTHING for our benefit. Nothing he does is to harm us, but to help us become more like Him so we can return to live with Him and our eternal families in bliss. The process in the mien time isn't always easy or pretty. In fact, it's often excruciatingly hard.

But the other day I was reminded of this scripture in the Book of Mormon that gave me great comfort:

1 Nephi 9:6--But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all bpower unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.

So here's my recipe: Time to live my own life and not let these experiences get the better of me. Time to choose to be the best that I can and let these things make me a better person. I refuse to let this destroy the good things I am, but only make me stronger and into a better person.



Whew. Heavy. Now time to the lighter side: food recipe! :) This recipe is just like the bread at Macaroni Grill!


(This a photo of bread I made from this recipe (using my own homegrown rosemary--hooray for herb growing!). You wanna make it now, huh?)

Jo's Rosemary Bread Ingredients

1 cup water
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon dried rosemary (but I suggest fresh--way better taste)
2 1/2 cups bread flour
1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast

Optional:
Extra Olive oil to brush on top
Course salt to top bread

Directions:
If you have a bread maker, lucky you (I am jealous)! All you need to do is dump it in and let your bread maker do its thing. If not, here's what I suggest (i.e. what I did):

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

1. Start by putting the 1 1/2 t. of yeast (or one packet of yeast, same difference) into WARM water (not too hot now--that will kill the yeast) so it can proof. Let it sit for about 10 minutes (although five may be enough).

2. Next, in a separate bowl stir together the 2 1/2 cups of bread flour, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of both white sugar and salt. Add the olive oil and stir/knead in by hand if it sticks to the spoon. Stir/knead for about 4 minutes. I just did this with a simple spoon and my hands in the bowl--no mixer or anything (it gets a good consistency for the bread this way--not to many or too few air bubbles). It should kinda seem like pancake batter at this point, especially if you use a mixer.

3. Lastly, gradually add 1/4 t. of both Italian seasoning and ground black pepper (ground really is SO MUCH better than regular pepper--you can really taste the difference), and 1 T of rosemary (I suggest using FRESH rosemary from your garden or the store--so much better than dried with a lot better flavor) and gradually add this flour/olive oil/seasoning mixture to the water/yeast mixture and knead by hand for five more minutes or so until the dough pulls away from the bowl (i.e. it's not too dry or too sticky) (again, I suggest doing it by hand, but feel free to use a bread hook to stir it if you have a nice mixer). At this point, I had a very soft (but not sticky or gooey) dough.

4. How you bake the bread is kind of up to you--I've used a bread pan (greased of course) (you have to really shape it to the pan since it isn't gooey like a banana bread consistency would be that would shape to the pan on it's own) and I have just used a cookie sheet to shape it how I liked.

5. OPTIONAL: After you grease the pan of your choosing and put the bread in, I HIGHLY suggest brushing it with olive oil, and lastly putting course salt on the top (regular salt doesn't do it justice--this is totally Macaroni Grill style).

6. Cook for about 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown (but I like to cook it until it's a little shy of golden brown--still kinda pale cream--seems to be softer that way, albeit a tiny bit doughy in the middle when hot and fresh from the oven, but it keeps it softer for the next few days and isn't doughy later).

Voila! This bread is so soft and delicious with a slightly crunchy outer crust. The inside was so deliciously soft I had to be extra careful if I used a knife to cut it! But who needs a knife when you can break it apart with your hands? ;) It's great served with olive oil, vinegar, and pepper to dip in. Mmmmm! I have yet to perfect this recipe to a tea, since I've been tweaking when I add things/how much I add at a time, but this method seems to work well.

Happy cooking, and happy healing from any trials that have come your way.

Moab

A couple weeks ago, I went with two of my good friends to Arches National Park, and I miss it already. I haven't been there since I was about 8, so it was great to go again and see the incredible sights. It all lives up to the hype everyone says about it. Some of our cooking attempts were rather interesting, but it all worked out. What's camping without a few mishaps and adventures? The first food challenge was on day one during dinner: how to get our coals lit with 50 mph gusts and a dollar store lighter (never again). Hmm...but somehow we managed. The next interesting thing was figuring cooking on the portable stove. We couldn't figure out if it was actually lit since there seemed to be no flame, but we gave it a whirl, and when the pan started to immediately get hot, there must be a flame, yes? Overall though, we did great planning, especially considering that this was our first 3-day excursion planned only by the three of us. Hats off to us and our successes and our memorable trial and error moments. The weather was great temperature-wise (since Moab during June is usually near 100, but we managed to only get 82 or so as a high), but the winds were BRUTAL the first day. Still, I'd rather be trying to not get blown away then feel like I was melting into the rocks from heat stroke. It was amazing though how thrashed we felt after those winds, and I mean that quite literally.

Megan has set up a tent in the past, but neither Arien nor I had ever set up a tent, so we decided to do a test-run in my apartment living room. Thank goodness we did. Setting it up wasn't bad at all, but it gave me a lot more confidence to know how everything works.

Wow. We had winds up to 60 mph. NUTS (hence the crazy hair--and so much for bobby pins, which turned out nearly useless). All three of us had to brace ourselves, because we had some gusts so strong that we literally almost fell over. I've never experienced wind like that! It was too scary to go right over to Delicate Arch itself with winds that high, but some people were brave (*cough* dumb *cough*) and went and stood under the arch.

You can definitely tell which days were clear and which were dusty just by the shots. The wind could be refreshing at some points and overpowering at others!

Gotta love that even in the incredibly harsh desert, there can still be flowers blooming from the unforgiving, prickly cactus.

On the hike to Corona's Arch, we had to climb a ladder that's been put there permanently. At another point use a steel rope to help hoist us up the steep slope. Either one of those things would have been awesome, but having both made it a wickedly awesome hike.

A train that cuts through the canyon like that? Can you say "cool"? We even got to see the train itself go through. Woot woot (or maybe choo choo, wow that's the kind of post you get when you get "tipsy" from a cold)!

My favorite shot from the trip (thanks Megan).

I wish we were back there now. I'm so glad we went, and I'm so grateful for such solid friends who would go with me. There's just nothing like getting out into nature and letting the sun soak into your skin and to have a miracle made by nature everywhere you turn. There's nothing like a shower after dust molds itself to your skin either, haha, but totally worth it. God's world certainly is great.