Betrayal and moving forward: the road goes ever on and on...

Everyone processes things differently.  Moving forward can be easier for some people than others.  I'm one of those people where it takes a long time to move forward from difficult experiences.  I take life very, very seriously.  I get very close to only a select number of people, so I value those relationships very deeply and intensely.  It's not that I don't WANT to move on.  I want to move on very much--but it's difficult for me.  Ever have someone you love and care for deeply completely and totally betray you?  It's a horrible experience.  I tend to think that all the effort and love I put into relationships and circumstances should somehow be returned to me equally, and it hurts me when it isn't.  But that happens a lot.  But that won't change who I am--I'm determined to keep giving others everything I have, even if they don't give it back.  I'll be a better person for it.

I was listening today to a recording of "Enduring it Well" on the Mormon channel--in particular the Episode "Fighting Fear with Faith" where the host Dr. Richard Cohen talked to Ed and Lois Smart about the abduction of their daughter Elizabeth Smart (there are a lot of great talks on a variety of topics on "Enduring it Well"--very worth a listen at about an hour for each episode).  I think everybody in Utah knows the story, so I won't go into the details of it.  Both Ed and Lois are faithful members of the LDS church, so it was very interesting to hear their take on the trial of having their daughter abducted.  One quote really struck me intensely (in the quote, "he" refers to Brian David Mitchell, the abductor of Elizabeth)

"He took 9 months of my life, and I'm not going to let him take any more of it!  I have so much more to live for than what this person has put me through or what this situation has brought to my life."

Ed and Lois Smart

Fantastic advice.  The person who has betrayed you may be someone that will eventually come back into your life, or maybe not.  It may be your choice (at least in part) if they do come back into your life or not.  But either way, no matter what they have done to you, it's up to YOU to not let them take any more of your life away.  To me, that has meant that after I have worked through and processed the event, it's up to me not to waste any more time dwelling on the past betrayal.  In a sense, not moving forward with your life and keeping on dwelling on the situation, trying to find a way to "get back" at them, living your life tip-toeing around what you think that person wants, is giving them even more power than they already have.  Whoever it is has already taken enough away from you.  Don't let them keep taking.  I'm not saying that you should suddenly be a jerk to this person by any means or avoid them unnecessarily if you still need to be in contact with them--not at all.  Each circumstance is different, but I am just trying to say that you shouldn't give them all the power and leave yourself at their mercy to continue to harm you and your life.  Care enough about yourself to move forward with your life and consider this betrayal just one piece of it.  Make it YOUR life again.  Don't let the betrayal become so consuming in your life that it changes how you feel about yourself, how you handle your life, and how you see other people.  Determine to rise above it.  It was a horrible experience, but think of all the possibilities ahead of you.  Your future is as bright as your faith.

My thoughts have also gone to the Savior.  He was perfect.  He never did anything wrong.  Ever.  Yet He had so many people betray Him, some of whom were His closest friends.  We're not alone in our experience of being betrayed.  We can cry to Him, very literally, and He will understand.

It can be tempting too to want to never trust people again.  I've been very, very tempted by this.  But the longer I live (I know I'm not that old, so so much for my sage advice), the more I feel that people are inherently good.  People make mistakes, but most people are really, truly doing the best they can.  Maybe even the person who betrayed you was doing the best they could (but that doesn't make what they did right).  What's worse: potentially getting hurt again by being willing to trust others, or never trusting anyone again and living a life of bitterness and suspicion?  I think you know what the answer is.  Finding that true friend that will stick with you no matter what is worth going through some heartaches a bad apple, as tough as that may be.  Trust too that God is looking out for your best interest.  He gives us trials to help us grow--but He also has good times and good people ahead.  Don't abandon hope in others.  God won't give up on us, so we shouldn't give up on humanity either.

I've also thought about this comforting realization: that there are many good things that have resulted for me from this horrible experience.  I would never wish this experience upon anyone, but I would also not take away what I have learned from this experience--which, in the end, means that although this has been, and still is, awful for me, I wouldn't change it.  I would never want to do it again, but I wouldn't change what has happened.  I've made other bonds stronger that would never have been formed without this trial that has caused me to turn to other resources.  I have become closer to God, and I have said some of the most real, sincere, and humble prayers I have ever said in my life.  I also believe that this experience will help me to be able to understand others in a way that I never could otherwise.  Sometimes (I dare safe often), our experiences are not just for us, but we experience them so we can bless other lives with what we learn and what we gain from it.

The betrayal is still going to be hard, but there is sunshine to be found if you look for it.

Remember:

"I, the Lord, do visit my people in their afflictions" Mosiah 24:14

Inexpensive apartment wall decor (DIY instructions)

College is expensive.  So what does that mean?  It means we college students are poor!  Even so, that doesn't mean we don't want to have nice decorations for our apartment.  I'm going to be moving to a new apartment in a month and a half, and I really want it to feel like HOME.  I figured one of the easiest ways to make it seem "homey" is to decorate it and make the environment friendly and welcoming.  I want it to be my own paradise that I can go to to relax and enjoy myself.

My apartment room right now is just kinda...blah.  Partially because I've been living in the same place for quite a while and it's time for a change, but also because our apartment was just renovated and I've been too paranoid to put anything on the walls since everything was freshly painted.  If there were any holes or rips or anything of the sort in the wall, it'd be pretty obvious who did it, considering I'm the only one who has lived in this newly renovated room.  But my new apartment will be a different story--it will be nice, don't get me wrong--but it wasn't just barely painted (to my knowledge); plus my landlord is MUCH more easy going, so I figured I can actually decorate the place for once (not that I've ever planned to put a million holes in the wall or anything, but I've felt like I couldn't put anything at all on the walls in the past).


So one of my previous roommates had a really cute idea for decorating the walls, and I decided to duplicate her idea.  It's really easy, cute, and inexpensive.  Triple win.

Basically it's a wall hanging using fabric and cardboard.  I'll tell you what I did, but obviously you can change things to your liking.  Here's what the finished product will look like (these are the ones I made):

Here is what you will need:

• Fabrics pieces of your choice large enough to fit over your cardboard (with about 1 1/2 inches longer than each side of your cardboard pieces, so you'll need to decide in advance how big you want your cardboard pieces to be so you know how much fabric to buy) (it's up to you what you pick--you can use the same for all three (or whatever number you choose) or pick different fabrics (I used 10 1/2 inch squares of cardboard, and if you do the same as I did, you'll only need about 1/3 yard of fabric, which will cost around $7 depending on how expensive the fabrics are that you pick) (make sure if you get different fabrics you pick designs that will look good together on the wall); but my biggest tip is to pick fabrics that aren't super thick or it will be hard to get them to stay on the cardboard but also pick fabrics that aren't too thin, or else the cardboard will show through the fabric really obviously--so basically go for the middle road thickness)
• Cardboard from leftover boxes (enough that each piece can be the same size)
• X-acto knife or a razor blade cutter (or even a kitchen knife if you don't have any of the other blades in the house)
• Duct tape or packing tape
• Scissors
• Ruler
• Iron and ironing board

I couldn't find a razor blade, so I decided to just use a knife.  It worked well enough.  I used my ruler to measure out about 10 1/2 inches on each side.

DO NOT use your scissors to try and cut the cardboard.  It is nearly impossible--it makes is so that you risk bending the cardboard by trying to get the scissors to cut in deep enough; plus, you can get a much more exact straight line with a razor blade/knife. (Yep, I used a magic genie cardboard box, compliments of my niece.)

Here's what my three pieces looked like.  It's actually easiest to just cut one piece by using the ruler to measure each side, then use the first piece as a template for how large to cut the next two pieces--that way you're more likely that they will be identical (or close to it) in size.

Next I ironed my fabrics.  You may not have to do this, but chances are there will be lots of creases in the fabric if you just bought it from the fabric store like I did.  I highly suggest taking the time to iron it if there are wrinkles because it's impossible for you pull the fabric tight enough over the cardboard to get rid of the wrinkles, so it won't look as good.

Next I placed my cardboard on the fabric and so I could figure out what size I needed to cut the fabric to.

Here's what it looked like once I cut the fabric (I had about 1 1/2 inches of fabric hanging over on each side).

Next, flip over the fabric so the brown cardboard side and the underside of the fabric are touching.  Then I taped the opposite sides of the fabric to the board.  Make sure the fabric is lined up right and that you pull the fabric taught so you won't have wrinkles.

  Finally, I taped the other two opposite sides to the cardboard.  You can leave the end flap on the corners untaped, but I suggest folding the corners like you see above so that you won't see the fabric hanging out from the back when it's hanging up on the wall (you'll may have to readjust the corner a few times so that the corner won't "pooch" and look awkward).

 Once you fold down all the corners, it'll look like this.  Repeat with your other two pieces of fabric and cardboard.

 Ta da!  All done!  It should only take about an hour (that's about how long it took me, and I'm uber OCD about getting all the corners right, so it probably won't take you that long).  Now you can put any kind of hanger you like on the back (Command strips, for example, or even just extra duct tape keeps it up pretty well (but that would probably be best used on a peg board wall or a wall you aren't worried about having tape on).

Hope that helps!  Happy crafting!

Some All-Time Favorite Recipes

There are a lot of good recipes out there.   But there are just some recipes that you just LOVE and you always go back to time and time again.  Back at home, you could always tell a really good recipe, because the recipe card had turned from white to yellow over time and had all sorts of spots and smudges from various ingredients splattered all over it.    I will list some of my favorites here for you to try.  If you have a all-time favorite, I'd love to get the recipe!

Snickerdoodles

This is one of my mom's tried-and-true recipes that always resurfaces again and again.

INGREDIENTS:

½ cup butter

½ cup shortening

1 ½ cups sugar

2 eggs

2 ¾ cups flour

2 t. cream of tarter

1 t. baking soda

¼ t. salt

2T sugar

2t cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 400.

Mix butter, shortening, and sugar thoroughly.  Sift together flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt.  Mix wet ingredients with dry ingredients.  Add eggs and mix.

Roll into balls and then in cinnamon-sugar mixture.  Place 2” apart on ungreased baking sheet.  Bake 8-10 minutes.

Potato Cheese Broccoli Soup (click to see recipe)

I was just randomly searching the internet for a potato broccoli soup and came across this recipe on a relatively unknown website.  The ingredients looked good, so I decided to give it a shop.  It is AMAZING!  Every time I go to a restaurant and have a potato broccoli soup, I can't help but compare to this recipe; so far, I have yet to go to a restaurant and try a similar soup that can beat this recipe!

Cinnamon Rolls (click to see recipe)

I have a hard time with Paula Dean as a person (no offense if you like her), but this recipe is the bomb.  I've tried a good handful of cinnamon roll recipes, and this is my favorite.  I will suggest, however, that you cut down on the butter she suggests to put on the dough after you roll it out and before you put on the cinnamon and sugar...it's just too much and ends up dripping off the sides!

Rosemary Bread (click to see recipe)

I already made a post about this recipe, so go check it out. :)

Chocolate-Covered Oreo Cake (click to see recipe)

This cake is delicious in every way possible.  The filling is especially a winner, and it looks so pretty with the Baker's chocolate used to glaze the top!

Chicken Enchiladas (click to see recipe)

This is a great recipe that I use a lot--it's not at all authentic, and it's actually pretty different because it doesn't use any red sauce, but that's why I like it!  Make sure to look at the suggestions in the first couple comments.  I think they are good changes worth considering (basically this recipe is a good base to start from, and you can add/subtract any vegetables or soup types for the sauce that you like best).

I hope at least one of these recipes tickles your taste-buds to your satisfaction.   I know my family and friends have greatly enjoyed them time and time again!