Betrayal and moving forward: the road goes ever on and on...

Everyone processes things differently.  Moving forward can be easier for some people than others.  I'm one of those people where it takes a long time to move forward from difficult experiences.  I take life very, very seriously.  I get very close to only a select number of people, so I value those relationships very deeply and intensely.  It's not that I don't WANT to move on.  I want to move on very much--but it's difficult for me.  Ever have someone you love and care for deeply completely and totally betray you?  It's a horrible experience.  I tend to think that all the effort and love I put into relationships and circumstances should somehow be returned to me equally, and it hurts me when it isn't.  But that happens a lot.  But that won't change who I am--I'm determined to keep giving others everything I have, even if they don't give it back.  I'll be a better person for it.

I was listening today to a recording of "Enduring it Well" on the Mormon channel--in particular the Episode "Fighting Fear with Faith" where the host Dr. Richard Cohen talked to Ed and Lois Smart about the abduction of their daughter Elizabeth Smart (there are a lot of great talks on a variety of topics on "Enduring it Well"--very worth a listen at about an hour for each episode).  I think everybody in Utah knows the story, so I won't go into the details of it.  Both Ed and Lois are faithful members of the LDS church, so it was very interesting to hear their take on the trial of having their daughter abducted.  One quote really struck me intensely (in the quote, "he" refers to Brian David Mitchell, the abductor of Elizabeth)

"He took 9 months of my life, and I'm not going to let him take any more of it!  I have so much more to live for than what this person has put me through or what this situation has brought to my life."

Ed and Lois Smart

Fantastic advice.  The person who has betrayed you may be someone that will eventually come back into your life, or maybe not.  It may be your choice (at least in part) if they do come back into your life or not.  But either way, no matter what they have done to you, it's up to YOU to not let them take any more of your life away.  To me, that has meant that after I have worked through and processed the event, it's up to me not to waste any more time dwelling on the past betrayal.  In a sense, not moving forward with your life and keeping on dwelling on the situation, trying to find a way to "get back" at them, living your life tip-toeing around what you think that person wants, is giving them even more power than they already have.  Whoever it is has already taken enough away from you.  Don't let them keep taking.  I'm not saying that you should suddenly be a jerk to this person by any means or avoid them unnecessarily if you still need to be in contact with them--not at all.  Each circumstance is different, but I am just trying to say that you shouldn't give them all the power and leave yourself at their mercy to continue to harm you and your life.  Care enough about yourself to move forward with your life and consider this betrayal just one piece of it.  Make it YOUR life again.  Don't let the betrayal become so consuming in your life that it changes how you feel about yourself, how you handle your life, and how you see other people.  Determine to rise above it.  It was a horrible experience, but think of all the possibilities ahead of you.  Your future is as bright as your faith.

My thoughts have also gone to the Savior.  He was perfect.  He never did anything wrong.  Ever.  Yet He had so many people betray Him, some of whom were His closest friends.  We're not alone in our experience of being betrayed.  We can cry to Him, very literally, and He will understand.

It can be tempting too to want to never trust people again.  I've been very, very tempted by this.  But the longer I live (I know I'm not that old, so so much for my sage advice), the more I feel that people are inherently good.  People make mistakes, but most people are really, truly doing the best they can.  Maybe even the person who betrayed you was doing the best they could (but that doesn't make what they did right).  What's worse: potentially getting hurt again by being willing to trust others, or never trusting anyone again and living a life of bitterness and suspicion?  I think you know what the answer is.  Finding that true friend that will stick with you no matter what is worth going through some heartaches a bad apple, as tough as that may be.  Trust too that God is looking out for your best interest.  He gives us trials to help us grow--but He also has good times and good people ahead.  Don't abandon hope in others.  God won't give up on us, so we shouldn't give up on humanity either.

I've also thought about this comforting realization: that there are many good things that have resulted for me from this horrible experience.  I would never wish this experience upon anyone, but I would also not take away what I have learned from this experience--which, in the end, means that although this has been, and still is, awful for me, I wouldn't change it.  I would never want to do it again, but I wouldn't change what has happened.  I've made other bonds stronger that would never have been formed without this trial that has caused me to turn to other resources.  I have become closer to God, and I have said some of the most real, sincere, and humble prayers I have ever said in my life.  I also believe that this experience will help me to be able to understand others in a way that I never could otherwise.  Sometimes (I dare safe often), our experiences are not just for us, but we experience them so we can bless other lives with what we learn and what we gain from it.

The betrayal is still going to be hard, but there is sunshine to be found if you look for it.

Remember:

"I, the Lord, do visit my people in their afflictions" Mosiah 24:14

Inexpensive apartment wall decor (DIY instructions)

College is expensive.  So what does that mean?  It means we college students are poor!  Even so, that doesn't mean we don't want to have nice decorations for our apartment.  I'm going to be moving to a new apartment in a month and a half, and I really want it to feel like HOME.  I figured one of the easiest ways to make it seem "homey" is to decorate it and make the environment friendly and welcoming.  I want it to be my own paradise that I can go to to relax and enjoy myself.

My apartment room right now is just kinda...blah.  Partially because I've been living in the same place for quite a while and it's time for a change, but also because our apartment was just renovated and I've been too paranoid to put anything on the walls since everything was freshly painted.  If there were any holes or rips or anything of the sort in the wall, it'd be pretty obvious who did it, considering I'm the only one who has lived in this newly renovated room.  But my new apartment will be a different story--it will be nice, don't get me wrong--but it wasn't just barely painted (to my knowledge); plus my landlord is MUCH more easy going, so I figured I can actually decorate the place for once (not that I've ever planned to put a million holes in the wall or anything, but I've felt like I couldn't put anything at all on the walls in the past).


So one of my previous roommates had a really cute idea for decorating the walls, and I decided to duplicate her idea.  It's really easy, cute, and inexpensive.  Triple win.

Basically it's a wall hanging using fabric and cardboard.  I'll tell you what I did, but obviously you can change things to your liking.  Here's what the finished product will look like (these are the ones I made):

Here is what you will need:

• Fabrics pieces of your choice large enough to fit over your cardboard (with about 1 1/2 inches longer than each side of your cardboard pieces, so you'll need to decide in advance how big you want your cardboard pieces to be so you know how much fabric to buy) (it's up to you what you pick--you can use the same for all three (or whatever number you choose) or pick different fabrics (I used 10 1/2 inch squares of cardboard, and if you do the same as I did, you'll only need about 1/3 yard of fabric, which will cost around $7 depending on how expensive the fabrics are that you pick) (make sure if you get different fabrics you pick designs that will look good together on the wall); but my biggest tip is to pick fabrics that aren't super thick or it will be hard to get them to stay on the cardboard but also pick fabrics that aren't too thin, or else the cardboard will show through the fabric really obviously--so basically go for the middle road thickness)
• Cardboard from leftover boxes (enough that each piece can be the same size)
• X-acto knife or a razor blade cutter (or even a kitchen knife if you don't have any of the other blades in the house)
• Duct tape or packing tape
• Scissors
• Ruler
• Iron and ironing board

I couldn't find a razor blade, so I decided to just use a knife.  It worked well enough.  I used my ruler to measure out about 10 1/2 inches on each side.

DO NOT use your scissors to try and cut the cardboard.  It is nearly impossible--it makes is so that you risk bending the cardboard by trying to get the scissors to cut in deep enough; plus, you can get a much more exact straight line with a razor blade/knife. (Yep, I used a magic genie cardboard box, compliments of my niece.)

Here's what my three pieces looked like.  It's actually easiest to just cut one piece by using the ruler to measure each side, then use the first piece as a template for how large to cut the next two pieces--that way you're more likely that they will be identical (or close to it) in size.

Next I ironed my fabrics.  You may not have to do this, but chances are there will be lots of creases in the fabric if you just bought it from the fabric store like I did.  I highly suggest taking the time to iron it if there are wrinkles because it's impossible for you pull the fabric tight enough over the cardboard to get rid of the wrinkles, so it won't look as good.

Next I placed my cardboard on the fabric and so I could figure out what size I needed to cut the fabric to.

Here's what it looked like once I cut the fabric (I had about 1 1/2 inches of fabric hanging over on each side).

Next, flip over the fabric so the brown cardboard side and the underside of the fabric are touching.  Then I taped the opposite sides of the fabric to the board.  Make sure the fabric is lined up right and that you pull the fabric taught so you won't have wrinkles.

  Finally, I taped the other two opposite sides to the cardboard.  You can leave the end flap on the corners untaped, but I suggest folding the corners like you see above so that you won't see the fabric hanging out from the back when it's hanging up on the wall (you'll may have to readjust the corner a few times so that the corner won't "pooch" and look awkward).

 Once you fold down all the corners, it'll look like this.  Repeat with your other two pieces of fabric and cardboard.

 Ta da!  All done!  It should only take about an hour (that's about how long it took me, and I'm uber OCD about getting all the corners right, so it probably won't take you that long).  Now you can put any kind of hanger you like on the back (Command strips, for example, or even just extra duct tape keeps it up pretty well (but that would probably be best used on a peg board wall or a wall you aren't worried about having tape on).

Hope that helps!  Happy crafting!

Some All-Time Favorite Recipes

There are a lot of good recipes out there.   But there are just some recipes that you just LOVE and you always go back to time and time again.  Back at home, you could always tell a really good recipe, because the recipe card had turned from white to yellow over time and had all sorts of spots and smudges from various ingredients splattered all over it.    I will list some of my favorites here for you to try.  If you have a all-time favorite, I'd love to get the recipe!

Snickerdoodles

This is one of my mom's tried-and-true recipes that always resurfaces again and again.

INGREDIENTS:

½ cup butter

½ cup shortening

1 ½ cups sugar

2 eggs

2 ¾ cups flour

2 t. cream of tarter

1 t. baking soda

¼ t. salt

2T sugar

2t cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 400.

Mix butter, shortening, and sugar thoroughly.  Sift together flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt.  Mix wet ingredients with dry ingredients.  Add eggs and mix.

Roll into balls and then in cinnamon-sugar mixture.  Place 2” apart on ungreased baking sheet.  Bake 8-10 minutes.

Potato Cheese Broccoli Soup (click to see recipe)

I was just randomly searching the internet for a potato broccoli soup and came across this recipe on a relatively unknown website.  The ingredients looked good, so I decided to give it a shop.  It is AMAZING!  Every time I go to a restaurant and have a potato broccoli soup, I can't help but compare to this recipe; so far, I have yet to go to a restaurant and try a similar soup that can beat this recipe!

Cinnamon Rolls (click to see recipe)

I have a hard time with Paula Dean as a person (no offense if you like her), but this recipe is the bomb.  I've tried a good handful of cinnamon roll recipes, and this is my favorite.  I will suggest, however, that you cut down on the butter she suggests to put on the dough after you roll it out and before you put on the cinnamon and sugar...it's just too much and ends up dripping off the sides!

Rosemary Bread (click to see recipe)

I already made a post about this recipe, so go check it out. :)

Chocolate-Covered Oreo Cake (click to see recipe)

This cake is delicious in every way possible.  The filling is especially a winner, and it looks so pretty with the Baker's chocolate used to glaze the top!

Chicken Enchiladas (click to see recipe)

This is a great recipe that I use a lot--it's not at all authentic, and it's actually pretty different because it doesn't use any red sauce, but that's why I like it!  Make sure to look at the suggestions in the first couple comments.  I think they are good changes worth considering (basically this recipe is a good base to start from, and you can add/subtract any vegetables or soup types for the sauce that you like best).

I hope at least one of these recipes tickles your taste-buds to your satisfaction.   I know my family and friends have greatly enjoyed them time and time again!

Feeling Down? Been there, done that. Let's try something new.

Life is hard.  I've wished many a day that I was still a kid with only simple responsibilities.  But life is also good.  Those feelings of wanting to stay as a kid never lasts forever for me, and with good reason--wouldn't it be a shame to miss every phase of life?  Childhood, young adulthood, young married life, motherhood and fatherhood, watching grandchildren grow up, and even waiting to pass to the next life all have their own joys and sorrows.  Each can be enjoyed for what it has to offer.

But sometimes you just wish now wasn't now.  You wish it was tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year.  Life can be so unbearable that you have no idea how you are going to face the next five minutes let alone the next day.  Even so, we all have to eventually come to the conclusion that the future will continue to come whether we like it or not, and we're going to have to deal with the now.  You can't avoid now, no matter how hard you try.  You can put off things, but you'll never escape--it just doesn't work that way.

So...what to do? NOW?  How do you face the unbearable?

Different things obviously work for different people.  There are a lot of lists out there suggesting things you can do to lift your spirits, so I'm adding to the list suggestions that often work for me.  So read through the list and take what you think will work best for you and your circumstances.

1. Get a change of scenery.  Often if I am bummed out, one of the first things I'll try to look at is if I'm doing the same thing over and over--hum drum every day.  Obviously we can't escape everything--we still have to go to work, school, or similar activities nearly every day.  But even a small change of scenery can really help.  Have you wanted to go up the canyon "sometime"?  Do it now!  You don't have to make a day trip out of it, just go and breathe some fresh air.  Something about going somewhere new, or somewhere you don't usually go, is really helpful to change your perspective on life--things don't have to be the same as you've kept them in your routine.  If it isn't working for you, try something different.  If that doesn't work, try something else different.  Something is bound to click, and you'll be sure to discover new things that perk your interest that you can add to your routine once and a while to shake things up.
2. Don't isolate yourself.  This is one I have to try really hard not to do.  When you're feeling down, it's easy to want to shut the world out and just put a "go away" sign on your door.  Everyone needs alone time.  That time is absolutely necessary.  But it isn't good to be spending the majority of your time alone, especially if you're down.  It may be the very last thing you want to do is be with people, but it really does help.  You don't have to go out and suddenly become the life of the party.  Even just sitting by other people, even if you aren't saying much, is somehow helpful.  Humans are social creatures.  We're not meant to be alone.
3. Put things into perspective.  Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by all the things that have happened and will happen that I just feel like even attempting to lift that load will crush me flat.  And frankly, it probably will.  So what to do?  Get some perspective.  What's the bottom line?  From a religious perspective, this is earth life, which means this trial(s) won't last forever.  As long and as horrible as whatever you are bearing may have lasted and will last, it WILL end.  The next step, from an earthly perspective, is that all you have to deal with (as we so often say) is today.  But really, all you have to deal with is this second.  Right now.  If I have something that I have in the future that daunts me, it often helps me to make a plan like this: spend 45 minutes working on the task, whatever it may be, then tell yourself you are done for the day.  Now pat yourself on the back.  You got closer to figuring out whatever it was.  Good job!  It may not be finished, but you don't need to worry about that today.  You've done all you can do on it for today, and it's enough.  Now focus your attention on something else and keep going with your day.  This is so relieving and freeing of a practice to me because it relieves me of feeling like I have to keep worrying about the problem all the time, which is miserable.  I hope it works for you.
4. Do something you love. This won't apply to all times or all people, because sometimes you're so overwhelmed with things to do that adding anything to the list will just feel overwhelming.  But sometimes you just have to cross something off your "to do" list and say, "Today, I need to put in some time for fun."  Seriously, fun is not just a want, it's a NEED.  We need to be able to enjoy life.  If you are never doing something you love, something needs to be changed.  You may think you don't have time, but eventually you will begin to slowly crack until doing something you love is an absolute must.  Better to maintain than to repair.
5. Keep moving.  It can be beyond tempting to give up when things are hard, but giving up won't make things better.  Now, take this with a grain of salt, because I'm not saying that you shouldn't say no to things that truly need to be cut away from your life (it's one thing to throw up your hands in surrender and forget about trying, and it's another thing to carefully consider the pros and cons and tactfully (and prayerfully!) reduce or eliminate something from your life).  I am saying that you should stick with what's tough.  Pull through.  Today won't always be today, and that's a good thing!  That means things will keep changing, and even if something is terrible today, eventually things will smooth themselves out.  Life isn't static, so as long as you aren't static, your situation won't stay the same.  It will change.  Patience is the pits sometimes, but it's worth every second if the result is worth working for.
6. Get yourself cleaned up.  Something about taking a shower and doing your hair and makeup (if that applies) and dressed in something nice makes you feel more like YOU.  Skipping these steps in your day may seem like a time saver, but I know on those days I feel even more down when I don't look "presentable".  I can't really describe it in too much detail, but looking your best helps you feel better about yourself and in turn helps you feel better about life.
7. Stop waiting for your golden ticket.  This is a touchy one that can be taken the approached.  Please know that I mean no offense to anyone in any way with this one.  I will probably say as little as possible and suggest you actually go read an excellent talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf from the October 2011 General Young Women's Conference of the LDS church.  It is entitled "Forget Me Not" (click to read).  It is incredible and uplifting. I actually enjoy listening to it even more than reading it because he is such a powerful speaker.  Here is the main idea: it is good to yearn for righteous goals, but we cannot and should not put our happiness on hold because we have not received that "golden ticket" we are looking for in our lives.  The golden ticket may be a spouse, a new job, a remedy for a situation with a family member or friend.  These are all good goals we should definitely strive to work towards, but we shouldn't say something like (although it may be tempting, and has been to me on a number of occasions), "I will be happy once I find my husband."  It's not fair to yourself to wait to be happy.  Find little ways to be happy NOW, and add them up together.  It may not be like the happiness you will get from getting that goal achieved, whatever that goal is, but there is happiness out there waiting for you.  And consider this: even if your goal/dream comes to you, there will be more challenges that come with that goal being achieved.  Say, along with the marriage example, you get married.  That's wonderful!  But there will still be bills to pay, in-laws to handle, that new boss that's annoying you, the neighbor who's gossiping untrue things about you...you get the idea.  Life won't suddenly be magic because you got your goal.  I don't mean this as a downer, but to help point out that life will never be perfect, so we shouldn't wait for that "perfect" moment when we have everything we want to finally be happy.  You should most definitely look forward to your "golden ticket," because it's something wonderful to be celebrated--just don't forget about all the other opportunities of life too.  Wow, I said way more than intended.
8. Talk about it.  Talking to someone, even if they don't know you or the situation well, is really, really helpful.  Another perspective, or even just getting what your worried about off your chest for that matter, is super helpful.  Talking to more than one person is also great to get more than one different perspective.  Talking out loud can even bring self-revelations that you didn't think about when you were just quietly contemplating your struggle.  Talking is good.
9. Remember, we're here to succeed, not to fail.  Last, and most importantly, even if all the above don't work: be determined not to lose faith in God.  God did NOT send us here to fail.  Even if you don't believe it, tell it to yourself.  Repeat it, one hundred times in your head if you have to.  And maybe you still won't believe it in that moment.  If you can't believe it in that moment, keep telling it to yourself, and one of these days, you will come to believe it, either by your own faith being rekindled, and/or by seeing God's hand in our life and being reminded that He really is there for you.  He never leaves.  Ever.  And He always, always wants the best for us.  Sometimes what's best for us is not the easiest, but looking back, we will be reassured that God was indeed there and had His hand involved in every moment of every day--we may just not have been able to see it clearly in those terrible moments.

There are plenty more things to do, but I felt like I've babbled plenty enough as is.  I hope at least one of these is helpful to you out there.

Summer and Sunburns (and sunburn remedies!)

Ah, summer sun.  I love the sun.  I can't emphasize that enough.  No, I don't like being so hot in the sun I'm toasting, but a decent amount of sun just FEELS good, both physically and emotionally.  I went to Seven Peaks Water Park this morning and had a great time just lounging around on a tube in the wave pool and around the lazy river.  But silly me, like I do every summer (you'd think I'd learn)...I got sunburned.  Luckily the burn isn't bad at all, and tomorrow it will probably just look tan, but I have had times when I have burned myself pretty badly and couldn't even sleep because I was so miserable.  Sunburns can even make  your stomach feel sick.  Powerful stuff, sunburns.

Seven Peaks Water Park

So, what are some sunburn remedies?  Most are probably pretty well known, but I'll share some tips that may be the difference between being crispy lobster and turning back into a human being again.

1. Forget the lotion. Probably my most useful tip (and I feel this isn't nearly as widely known as it should be) is what NOT to do with your sunburn.  DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PUT LOTION ON YOUR SUNBURN!!  ...At least not at first.  Lotion will actually trap the heat in your skin, making the process of your body recovering longer and harder (and I don't mean Aloe Vera--that stuff is great--I'm talking about regular old moisturising lotion).  Once you start to peel (if you peel), sure, go for the lotion to help reduce that irritating itching--but in the beginning, don't put lotion on or you will be trapping in all that heat generated from the burn.  Bad idea.
2. Take ibuprofen. When you get a sunburn, your skin becomes inflamed from the burn.  Taking ibuprofen (Advil, ect.) will help reduce the inflammation as well as reduce some of the pain.  Double win! :)
3. Drink water. Your body can easily become dehydrated while you have a sunburn because of all that heat that's been generated, so be sure to drink, drink, drink (water that is)!  You'll feel better if you're fully hydrated (maybe not immediately, but you will) and your sunburn will heal faster too.
4. Get cool and wet. No, don't go back swimming.  I mean take a cool shower or bath, put wet wash cloths on the sunburned area, or even soak a shirt or towel in cool water and put it on; I've also heard oatmeal can be soothing in your bath. Not only will cool water help the pain be reduced, but it will help your burn get better faster because you'll be removing some of the harmful heat produced by the burn.  Less heat means your skin can heal faster.  The point here isn't to freeze.  The water needs to be COOL, not frigid and miserably freezing.  And if you take a shower or bath, make sure to PAT down with a towel, don't rub yourself down or it'll hurt.  That's pretty obvious, but I thought I'd mention it anyway since sometimes you go on automatic and just start rubbing down like normal after a shower.



Black tea and mint solution

5. Use aloe vera gel. Aloe vera gel is awesome stuff.  Thank goodness for that awesome leafy plant that gives us such wonderful relief!  Yeah, it does make you feel a little sticky because of the texture, but the relief is totally worth it in my boat.  You don't need to buy the fancy brand--go to Walmart and get the cheapo stuff and save yourself some cash.  Works just as well for me.
6. Black tea and mint solution. Here is a tip I haven't tried myself, but I have heard a number of people say it works really well.  I got the info from the Martha Stewart website: "An infusion of black tea and fresh mint makes a fragrant sunburn soother. The tannic acid in black tea draws heat from the burn and restores the skin's acid balance; the mint cools the skin.To make, pour four cups boiling water over two cups of fresh mint leaves and three or four tea bags. Cover, let stand 10 minutes, then strain. Let cool, and transfer to a glass jar. Apply to sunburned skin with a washcloth or cotton balls. The infusion keeps for a few weeks in the refrigerator." **And I will add a note that you'll want to use a wash cloth that you won't mind if it gets stained.  The black tea will probably stain it beyond repair.**
7. Wear loose, comfortable clothing. This isn't a cure by any means, but it helps reduce pain.  Wear a loose fitting cotton shirt or shorts to help reduce the pain of any added pressure tight clothing will add.  Cotton breathes easier too, which will help you stay and feel cooler.
8. Stay away from the sun. Obvious, but it's tempting to slather on a huge layer of sun screen and go back and enjoy the sun some more, isn't it?  Don't do it--you'll be sorry.  Give your burn a few days at least.  You'll be glad you did.

I hope at least one of these tips is helpful, and happy healing! :)

New recipes: for the stomach and the heart

I have two recipes to share today. One that involves the heart, and the other that involves the "regular" kind of recipe: one delicious one to be devoured by any hungry stomach. I'll begin with the one involving the heart.

I'm starting to think that whoever said "the only thing predictable about life is it's unpredictability" must have been a very wise person, because the older I get, I seem to be finding that more and more true in my own life. There have been a number of things that I have said "that will never happen to me". Of course not--misfortunes and surprising events happen to OTHER people, not yourself, right? Oh how I have been proved wrong.

As a kid, life was pretty predictable. I had about as close to the "perfect" family as there got. Then my parents got divorced. I never in a million years would have seen that curve ball. Our family was as close to perfect as it a family can get, so how could this happen to US? Divorces are for those "messed up" families, certainly not mine. Ah, if only life were that simple. But then again, I don't know that I really wish that it was. Perfect predictability, good or bad, can lead to a stale life of no growth. That doesn't mean that I always love the trial at the time, but I think I can almost always look back and say "I'm glad that happened," because where I end up and the person I become is could only have been accomplished through that trial. The same holds true for my parents' divorce. If someone were to ask me,"would you like your parents to get a divorce during your lifetime," of course the answer would be no; but thankfully, I would also say no to the following question: "if you could change what happened and have those events not happen, would you?" I'm not glad that my family had all the difficulties they did, but this trial has had many positive outcomes that couldn't have happened any other way. The situation wasn't ideal, but we were able to make it as good as possible by making the best out of it.



During a hard time, I often say to myself, "Well, Angela, you're going to have to go through this even one way or another--so it's your choice to either make the best of it, learn what you can, and behave gracefully in a manner you'll be proud of looking back, or make the worst of it and let it be as miserable as possible." If you have to go through the event, why not try and make the best of it? Easier said than done. Very much so. I'm not saying by any means either that you shouldn't ever feel sad or frustrated. In fact, I believe those are very healthy emotions that you need to allow yourself to feel or else you won't be able to process the event completely and it will end up coming back to trouble you later. But there are many ways (which will vary widely from event to event) that the situation can either be made significantly worse or better depending on your response. Then comes the time to pick the higher road. You'll never be sorry you did.



And now I've found myself in the past couple months with a heap of experiences I would never have guessed would have been me (or even if I did expect them, I didn't think they'd be nearly as difficult as they have been). Between my parents going on a mission, losing friends through various means, getting a new apartment (I've lived in SingleTree for the past 4 years and it's the only apartment I've ever lived in, so this is big, folks), getting a new job, and even breaking up with my fiance (although this was my decision, I never saw myself getting so far involved with a boyfriend that I would get engaged and then break it off; breaking up after dating, sure that happens a lot, but I didn't see breaking off an engagement)--well, let's just say lots of things are changing. Change is hard for everyone, but it tends to be harder for me than most people.



So, time to "cowboy up," Angela. It's a lot to swallow. And I've been mad at God for taking so much away from me in such a short and seemingly brutal matter. But then I have to remind myself: God does EVERYTHING for our benefit. Nothing he does is to harm us, but to help us become more like Him so we can return to live with Him and our eternal families in bliss. The process in the mien time isn't always easy or pretty. In fact, it's often excruciatingly hard.

But the other day I was reminded of this scripture in the Book of Mormon that gave me great comfort:

1 Nephi 9:6--But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all bpower unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.

So here's my recipe: Time to live my own life and not let these experiences get the better of me. Time to choose to be the best that I can and let these things make me a better person. I refuse to let this destroy the good things I am, but only make me stronger and into a better person.



Whew. Heavy. Now time to the lighter side: food recipe! :) This recipe is just like the bread at Macaroni Grill!


(This a photo of bread I made from this recipe (using my own homegrown rosemary--hooray for herb growing!). You wanna make it now, huh?)

Jo's Rosemary Bread Ingredients

1 cup water
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon dried rosemary (but I suggest fresh--way better taste)
2 1/2 cups bread flour
1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast

Optional:
Extra Olive oil to brush on top
Course salt to top bread

Directions:
If you have a bread maker, lucky you (I am jealous)! All you need to do is dump it in and let your bread maker do its thing. If not, here's what I suggest (i.e. what I did):

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

1. Start by putting the 1 1/2 t. of yeast (or one packet of yeast, same difference) into WARM water (not too hot now--that will kill the yeast) so it can proof. Let it sit for about 10 minutes (although five may be enough).

2. Next, in a separate bowl stir together the 2 1/2 cups of bread flour, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of both white sugar and salt. Add the olive oil and stir/knead in by hand if it sticks to the spoon. Stir/knead for about 4 minutes. I just did this with a simple spoon and my hands in the bowl--no mixer or anything (it gets a good consistency for the bread this way--not to many or too few air bubbles). It should kinda seem like pancake batter at this point, especially if you use a mixer.

3. Lastly, gradually add 1/4 t. of both Italian seasoning and ground black pepper (ground really is SO MUCH better than regular pepper--you can really taste the difference), and 1 T of rosemary (I suggest using FRESH rosemary from your garden or the store--so much better than dried with a lot better flavor) and gradually add this flour/olive oil/seasoning mixture to the water/yeast mixture and knead by hand for five more minutes or so until the dough pulls away from the bowl (i.e. it's not too dry or too sticky) (again, I suggest doing it by hand, but feel free to use a bread hook to stir it if you have a nice mixer). At this point, I had a very soft (but not sticky or gooey) dough.

4. How you bake the bread is kind of up to you--I've used a bread pan (greased of course) (you have to really shape it to the pan since it isn't gooey like a banana bread consistency would be that would shape to the pan on it's own) and I have just used a cookie sheet to shape it how I liked.

5. OPTIONAL: After you grease the pan of your choosing and put the bread in, I HIGHLY suggest brushing it with olive oil, and lastly putting course salt on the top (regular salt doesn't do it justice--this is totally Macaroni Grill style).

6. Cook for about 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown (but I like to cook it until it's a little shy of golden brown--still kinda pale cream--seems to be softer that way, albeit a tiny bit doughy in the middle when hot and fresh from the oven, but it keeps it softer for the next few days and isn't doughy later).

Voila! This bread is so soft and delicious with a slightly crunchy outer crust. The inside was so deliciously soft I had to be extra careful if I used a knife to cut it! But who needs a knife when you can break it apart with your hands? ;) It's great served with olive oil, vinegar, and pepper to dip in. Mmmmm! I have yet to perfect this recipe to a tea, since I've been tweaking when I add things/how much I add at a time, but this method seems to work well.

Happy cooking, and happy healing from any trials that have come your way.

Moab

A couple weeks ago, I went with two of my good friends to Arches National Park, and I miss it already. I haven't been there since I was about 8, so it was great to go again and see the incredible sights. It all lives up to the hype everyone says about it. Some of our cooking attempts were rather interesting, but it all worked out. What's camping without a few mishaps and adventures? The first food challenge was on day one during dinner: how to get our coals lit with 50 mph gusts and a dollar store lighter (never again). Hmm...but somehow we managed. The next interesting thing was figuring cooking on the portable stove. We couldn't figure out if it was actually lit since there seemed to be no flame, but we gave it a whirl, and when the pan started to immediately get hot, there must be a flame, yes? Overall though, we did great planning, especially considering that this was our first 3-day excursion planned only by the three of us. Hats off to us and our successes and our memorable trial and error moments. The weather was great temperature-wise (since Moab during June is usually near 100, but we managed to only get 82 or so as a high), but the winds were BRUTAL the first day. Still, I'd rather be trying to not get blown away then feel like I was melting into the rocks from heat stroke. It was amazing though how thrashed we felt after those winds, and I mean that quite literally.

Megan has set up a tent in the past, but neither Arien nor I had ever set up a tent, so we decided to do a test-run in my apartment living room. Thank goodness we did. Setting it up wasn't bad at all, but it gave me a lot more confidence to know how everything works.

Wow. We had winds up to 60 mph. NUTS (hence the crazy hair--and so much for bobby pins, which turned out nearly useless). All three of us had to brace ourselves, because we had some gusts so strong that we literally almost fell over. I've never experienced wind like that! It was too scary to go right over to Delicate Arch itself with winds that high, but some people were brave (*cough* dumb *cough*) and went and stood under the arch.

You can definitely tell which days were clear and which were dusty just by the shots. The wind could be refreshing at some points and overpowering at others!

Gotta love that even in the incredibly harsh desert, there can still be flowers blooming from the unforgiving, prickly cactus.

On the hike to Corona's Arch, we had to climb a ladder that's been put there permanently. At another point use a steel rope to help hoist us up the steep slope. Either one of those things would have been awesome, but having both made it a wickedly awesome hike.

A train that cuts through the canyon like that? Can you say "cool"? We even got to see the train itself go through. Woot woot (or maybe choo choo, wow that's the kind of post you get when you get "tipsy" from a cold)!

My favorite shot from the trip (thanks Megan).

I wish we were back there now. I'm so glad we went, and I'm so grateful for such solid friends who would go with me. There's just nothing like getting out into nature and letting the sun soak into your skin and to have a miracle made by nature everywhere you turn. There's nothing like a shower after dust molds itself to your skin either, haha, but totally worth it. God's world certainly is great.